Drop The Microphone: The Night I Found My Name

Some moments don’t feel important when they happen. They feel confusing, uncomfortable, even scary. But years later, when you look back, you realise that was the moment everything changed.

For me, that moment happened on 06 October 2018, at Mankatha Club, George Town, Pulau Pinang, during an event called “Drop The Microphone”, presented by Santhanar Dronachariyar and 5 Elementz. I was 17 years old then just a school kid with dreams bigger than my reality, standing at the edge of a world I desperately wanted to belong to.

My journey to that stage didn’t start with a mic. It started with a CD. 

In 2017, I bought my first-ever CD using my own money Tupac Shakur’s The Rose That Grew from Concrete through the Carousel app. The seller was Santhanar Dronachariyar anne himself. That CD wasn’t just music to me; it was a guidebook, a mirror, a promise. Tupac’s words spoke to a boy who felt unheard, confused, and burning with ambition.

After the sale, Santhanar anne messaged me and asked me something simple but powerful:
“Why are you searching for Tupac albums?”

I answered without thinking too much:
“My ambition is to become like him one day.”

He smiled and said, “Be in touch with me.” I didn’t know it then, but that sentence would quietly shape my future.

Fast forward to 2018. It was my SPM year pressure everywhere, expectations heavy, and inside me, an urgent need to create something of my own. I wanted to make my own song so badly, to speak my truth through music. But reality was cruel. No studio, no resources, no originals, just hunger and frustration.

Then one day, out of nowhere, a message came from Santhanar anne:
“Agilan, I got a show. You wanna join?”

I said yes without thinking twice. When opportunity knocks, you don’t ask questions you open the door. But when he followed up and asked me to perform, fear hit me hard.
“Anne, I don’t have my own song. How?”

He replied with words I still carry with me today:
“One day you will. But don’t lose any opportunity that comes to you.”

Around that time, I had just become friends with Naash, a rapper from mainland Penang. He had his own songs, his own stage name people already knew him. I invited him to join me, and together we walked into Mankatha Club that night. The lights were low, the bass was heavy, and my heart was racing.

Naash had a name.
I didn’t.

Backstage, before stepping on stage, I suggested a name to Santhanar anne SHIVANZ. That night, in front of the crowd, he launched me with that name. Just like that. No ceremony. No announcement. But the name stuck to my soul. I walked onto the stage as Agilan, and I walked off as SHIVANZ.

That stage was filled with energy, struggle, and raw talent. That night, I met people who would later become important parts of my journey Vassan, Viveck Ji, Mcry Vedaz, MCVA, Aaron T-Rex, and many underground rappers
from all over Malaysia. It felt like stepping into a family I didn’t know I had.

Me and Naash were given two slots each four performances in total. Naash performed his originals like “5 + 5 = 10” and “The New Generations.”

As for me, I didn’t hide behind my lack of originals. I chose songs that were viral at that time, and I performed only those:

• “Paadagam” by Ganessan Manogharan & Dr. Burn

• “Saaga Poren” by Sheezay

Standing there, performing legends’ words with my own breath, my own pain, my own hunger I felt alive. I felt like I belonged.

When I looked into the crowd, my heart almost broke. My school friends were there. My parents were there. Naash’s parents and sister were there. They weren’t just watching a performance they were witnessing the birth of something new. Their presence gave me strength I didn’t know I had.  

That night wasn’t perfect. I was nervous. I was inexperienced. I was uncomfortable.
That discomfort was uncomfortable… and unforgettable.

Today, when I look back, Drop The Microphone wasn’t just a show. It was my first door into hip-hop. It was the night a boy without a song found his voice, and a boy without a name became SHIVANZ.

From the depths of my heart, I thank Santhanar Dronachariyar anne for giving me an unforgettable opportunity that changed my life, for believing in me when I had nothing to show, and for coming into my life like a gift from God in the form of that Tupac CD, setting me on the path to the Malaysian Tamil hip-hop scene.

This wasn’t just my first stage.
This was the beginning of my journey. 

Written from the heart by SHIVANZ (Vijeya Agilan)